Oh, what fun ...
You know, a lot of the time I'll read one of Ann's books and charge off saying that "everybody should read this
!" (even those Che t-shirt wearing dreamers who peruse my scribblings here) because she's Speaking The Truth and is making points that Everybody Needs To Hear. Well, not this time. The latest salvo from Ann Coulter, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans
is strictly a "guilty pleasure" for those of us who are Ann fans.
Now, I must admit, I "took a pass" on her previous book, Godless
, because it was based on her inexplicable infatuation with her Imaginary Friend and the socially ingrained organizations which exist to prop up that delusion. If only Ann were deeply agnostic
on the religion front, she'd be the shining light of sarcasm for the age, but I guess every hero needs clay feet in some form, and her religious credulity (with its associated spin-offs into being seriously wrong about a whole lot of science) appears to be her "Achilles' heel". I figured that if Ann was insisting on embarrassing herself (yeah, like that's
possible), I should at least look away when the feathers hit the floor.
Anyhow, unlike brilliant surveys like Slander
(which I do
recommend that everybody read), where Ann is out to Prove A Point, this is another collection of bits and pieces (culled from her books, columns, speeches, interviews, and TV appearances), specifically chosen to poke sharp sticks at the Left (quote: "I think liberals have missed some of my zestier quotes, which is why we've decided to compile this volume"
). Needless to say, I found the book hilarious
and a delightful read (minus the occasional anti-Darwin blithering), but I would hardly expect that anybody to the left of Dennis Miller would find anything funny about this (well, perhaps with the exception of noting that her most frequent quote is "May I please finish my thought, Alan?"
, directed, of course, to the simpering weasel that Sean Hannity has to put up with day in and day out).
So, yes, I did stick my little bits of paper in the book as I breezed through this, and so have a few choice goodies to pass along to you!
"Clinton's defense was essentially that he is not impeachable because his conduct is so disreputable that the framers could not have conceived of it."
"Today's college liberals ape the beliefs of 99 percent of their professors and then pretend they're on-the-edge radicals."
"Liberals titter about conservatives imagining Communists under every bed, while they hysterically claim to see racists under every bed. If, in addition to murdering tens of millions of people, Stalin had maintained "Whites only" water fountains, America would now celebrate a national Joe McCarthy Day."
"If the death penalty doesn't deter murder, how come Michael Moore is still alive and I'm not on death row?"
"Liberals are either traitors or idiots, and on the matter of America's self-preservation, the difference is irrelevant."
And, in a closing quip functioning somewhat as an Afterword, she adds:
"Finally, a word to those of you out there who have yet to be offended by something I have written or said: Please be patient. I am working as fast as I can."
Needless to say, if this small sampling sounds like good fun to you, go pick up a copy of If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans
! Being that this is new, it should be in all the brick-and-mortar bookmongers in your area (although no doubt hidden on the shelves by self-righteous quasi-Marxist store staff), however I got my copy via Amazon at their current discount price, which is a whopping 40% off of cover. I'm sure that if you wait a year or so this will be cheap via the new/used vendors, but right now you'll be paying more (with shipping) via them than getting Amazon's discount price and adding a couple of things up to the free shipping zone.